Do I hang out all the time with James Van Der Beek? I promised him I wouldn’t tell.
Does he like regular or soy lattes? Again, I’m sworn to secrecy.
Does he have an entire room of his house devoted to his collection of BBQ sauces? Sorry, can’t answer that.
Does his house have an outdoor shower, visible from a helicopter? I have no idea.
Does he own a seersucker suit? I assume he owns many, but have no direct knowledge.
“Jason,” you ask. “Does James like Dynamax Exercise Balls? Uh huh.
“Hey, last question..” Okay, I’m listening. “In People Magazine, does JVDB recommend your book as a Father’s Day gift?”
We frequently have families over to the house that have children the same age as ours. And while the adults might have a couple beers or a few glasses of wine, it’s the kids who do the heavy partying. At the end of the night (approximately 8pm), our house looks like a Fraternity during pledge week.
1. At least one kid is passed-out on the sofa in the basement
2. There’s a half-eaten piece of pizza on the bookshelf
3. At least two kids leave in bare feet
4. One kid is crying
5. The shower is on
6. There’s a streaker
It’s blissful when the kids are playing with siblings, relatives, or friends. “Go down in the basement, you guys!” we often say. Magically, they sometimes follow this order, and the adults can stay upstairs to talk about their favorite cheeses and how much patios cost.
But it gets wild down there, so we’re always listening for sounds of a potential disaster. Listed here are just a few of the phrases that should spring any parent into action (or at least turn down the music to hear how everything pans out).
- “Wow, look guys. This door is usually locked but now it isn’t.”
- “Use my hair as a rope!”
- “Look at this.