I’ve been mildly panicked over the past few days about what to get Lindsay for Christmas. Luckily, this morning, she had a gift epiphany and proclaimed,
“I love snakes! You know what? I want a snake for Christmas, but not one that can strangle me or has teeth.”
Finally, a definitive answer. The pressure’s off now. No more wandering around Anthropologie looking for something “alternative, but not bohemian grandma.” If my beautiful wife – the mother of my amazing children – wants a snake, then goddamn it, she’ll get a snake.
She appears to want a specific kind though, right? I don’t think any snakes have “teeth.” I’m pretty sure they’re called fangs, so I’m off the hook there.