Category: Self Help
It's either day 6 or 7. I can't remember. After a while, the days without routine and electricity blend together into a foggy-headed smoothie that tastes like the middle of Led Zeppelin's "Kashmir" sounds. We're all walking around with grim heavy-metal faces, but all feel confused and awkward, like maybe we accidentally ate some Percocet dusted catnip.
- Challenge yourself every day. Try climbing the stairs carrying two soccer balls while wearing your father’s shoes. Remember, failure IS an option.
- De-clutter! Start by throwing all your dishes in the garbage. After that I suggest toothbrushes and important paper work.
- Pee on the floor and stomp in it like a puddle. You’ll be shocked how much better you feel.
- Whether the glass is half empty or half full is irrelevant if you dump it out on the sofa. You’re welcome.
- If you’re feeling aggressive, or just bored, scream in a cat’s face.
- Don’t ever be afraid to hand someone an ice cube while they’re on the toilet.
Thinking in terms of achievement and legitimacy, instead of creativity and growth, earns any “artist” a one-way ticket on the bitter bus to Hacktown. Lately, I’ve wanted to be booked on shows for approval and acceptance, rather than the opportunity to perform. I’ve taken it as a sign to perhaps accept stand-up’s persistent pleas to change its role in my life to “hobby.”
If I strain-out the ambition, I’ll be more able to enjoy the juice, right? A mind focused only on the quality of its product can create things without the nagging influence of their marketability. Unfortunately, the reality is, I can write as much as I want, but without performing, the material sits lifeless on my hard-drive.