This is something I wrote for Parents Magazine. It never appeared online, so I did my best to get it on here.
“Arlo, where are the batteries?” “Arlo, where are Mommy’s scarves? How about the Apple TV remote?” “Arlo, did you put the fingernail clippers somewhere?” “Daddy, do you know where my legos are?” “No, Silas… ask your brother, he probably packed them somewhere.” You should know that Arlo is not our freelance organization expert. He’s four[…]
If you’d like to see human frustration in its most natural state, simply say “no” to a three-year-old. You can also adjust a “wall” of the “grocery store” he made out of Magna Tiles. Another option might be to move one of his Calico Critters 1/32nd of an inch in any direction. These are his[…]
Silas (6) is a Power Rangers junkie. I’d like to send out my hearty thanks to Netflix for providing him and the rest of my family with the opportunity to watch all 1,000,000 episodes spanning three decades. The modern Power Rangers (the “Samurais”) live in a Zen loft with a Sensei. They tease each other[…]
We were trying to get out the door, and Arlo was one shoe short of a pair. In these situations, I wander aimlessly, often looking in ridiculous places so that perhaps I might heroically discover a missing mitten in the back of the freezer. It’s never worked. Lindsay always finds the missing item because her goal[…]
Our family has endured some heavy changes recently: we moved to a different state where we don’t yet have a house; we lived with my mother-in-law for a month, only to transfer to a furnished apartment that smells weird; Silas (my 6 year old) started first grade today at a new school. Clearly we’re under[…]
Awesome morning. We all got up late—late enough that we had to rush so Lindsay and the boys could make it to a music jamboree-hoedown-puppet extravaganza, and drop me off at my temporary office on the way. I went from full-on REM sleep to being in the car in around nine minutes. Immediately after pulling[…]
Reading to your child is one of life’s greatest gifts. But sometimes, as a result of fatigue, even a sweet opportunity can feel like a curse. Consider the following questions: Have you read your child’s favorite book a hundred times? Is it making you insane? Do you frequently get caught trying to skip pages so[…]
The key to show-and-tell is to bring something significant, but not so cherished that it can’t be lost or barfed on. My wife usually ends up saying something to Silas like, “Think really hard about it and choose something really special to you. Sorry, no. You can’t take ice cream. Nah, probably not your pillow either.”[…]
This is an excerpt from my book This is Ridiculous. This is Amazing: Parenthood in 71 Lists available in stores or online.