Sweet House, Steve.

My family had only been in LA for three hours before we wound up at Steve Vai’s house for a barbecue. Most of you probably don’t know who that is. Here’s all the information you need. He’s the reining king of progressive rock guitar and in case your eyes can’t see awesome stuff, he’s playing that guitar with his tongue. The sweet virtuosity of musical cunnilingus. I imagine most stories about hanging out at Steve Vai’s house involve LA Gear sneakers

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Day 249: A Letter to Pandora

Dear Pandora, You took the idea of the human genome project and applied it to music, right? Songs have a certain genetic code that allows you to group them together in various ways based on their attributes. Say I put in “Manic Monday” by The Bangles. Your algorithm will search the DNA of all the songs ever recorded, find the other ones annoying enough to fuel a genocidal dictator, and create a radio station containing just those songs. Then if

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Day 218: I Might Not Understand Music.

I feel like Motley Crue, Ratt, and Metallica were the last decent bands. Is that pretty much the same as my grandpa claiming the whole world went to shit after Woody Guthrie died?  I’ve tried so hard. I feel like I’m supposed to like Mumford and Sons and Wilco and all that other stuff, but honestly, it just sounds like people telling long boring stories about growing up in the midwest while someone hits a banjo with a can of

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Day 154: New Rush Album!

Rush is realeasing a new album filled with previously recorded but never released tracks. As president of the Rush fanclub, I was provided a track list. The album is titled “Easels for Medusa” which is AWESOME. The track names are vintage Rush, and you can really see Neil Peart’s influence. I hope you’re as excited as I am about this album coming out. I’ve heard rumors that every song is in 11/8 time signature. I’m PUMPED. EASELS FOR MEDUSA The Sumerian

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Day 141: It’s EDDIE EDDIE EDDIE!

Sarah, our 29 year old babysitter, is friends with MANY Greenpoint hipsters. She walked in this morning and asked me, “Jason, who sings Iron Man.” I of course told her it was Black Sabbath. She said, “I knew it! My friend was convinced it was Iron Maiden.” Huh? I’m sorry, but that’s just not something you’re allowed to screw up. The only thing that makes me more upset is when people think Asia sang Africa. I basically just go insane

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