My NICE RIDE

We recently moved from my mother-in-law’s house into a short-term furnished rental in the downtown Linden Hills area of Minneapolis, which allows me to walk to my temporary office at my sister-in-law’s house (can you tell how f-ing homeless we are?) Before that, I rode a “Nice Ride” bike. You see, Minneapolis is kind of like the Netherlands in that bikes are simply available for the taking. But, unlike the Dutch, Americans (even the agreeable, liberal Midwestern kind) cannot be

Continue

Three Simple Rules For Internet Commenters

Most of the comments I get on my blog and writing on other sites are very nice and I love them. But a very small percentage are just impossibly ridiculous and annoying. I think if we all followed these rules, everyone would be better off and I could cut my Prozac dose in half. 1. Don’t Brag It’s cool that you taught your non hearing impaired kid sign language (just for kicks), but please, for the love of Christ, Muhammed,

Continue

Beware of Sincerity

I recently saw someone preface a Facebook post with, “Hey, sorry for the sincerity, but”… [insert important and personal message about the dangers of texting and driving]. That’s odd, I thought; aren’t we all supposed to be sincere — that is, to be true to ourselves and effectively communicate that which we deem personally or culturally relevant and important? I don’t place any blame on the Facebook user here; in fact, I appreciate the honesty of her disclaimer. It was

Continue

So What CAN They Eat?

I just read this article and now I can’t feed my kids crackers without experiencing crippling guilt. Apparently, “everything we know about obesity and heart disease is wrong.” It feels like we hear that every four months. Medicine has more controversial paradigm shifts than Facebook. It’s frustrating at first, then everyone adjusts, only to have it change again. Eventually, we give up and eat Geno’s Pizza Rolls while staring at our timeline and wondering what day it is. Because being a hypochondriac comes

Continue

Day 355: Too Much Hot Sauce

We’re so over-fed in this country that pockets of wierdos have started brewing sauces with the sole intention of causing oral and intestinal discomfort. Hot sauce makers compete over who can scare their customers more. It’s a redneck poetry slam where the name with the most alliteration wins. I don’t care how clever it is (not very), I’m not putting “Birmingham Butt Burner” on my eggs. Usually we plop comfort food on top of comfort food. Sheppard’s pie is the gastronomic equivalent of a Lazy-boy recliner.

Continue

Site Footer