I recommend listening to Sia’s “Breath Me” while reading this post. Go ahead, click on it. Dramatic, right?
I think drama is unavoidable today, since, as a finale, the desire to reflect and tie things up is irresistible. I’m a little nervous and also listening to “Breath Me.” Please keep those things in mind while reading.
A year ago this past September, I quit my job in marketing at The New York Times to focus on stand-up comedy and writing. It’s a trite and privileged decision, abandoning the comforts of corporate American to pursue one’s “art.” It’s bold and romantic, I guess, but hardly unique – especially in New York City where one can eavesdrop on similar stories of “bravery” at any cafe on any given Tuesday at noon. Continue…
Thinking in terms of achievement and legitimacy, instead of creativity and growth, earns any “artist” a one-way ticket on the bitter bus to Hacktown. Lately, I’ve wanted to be booked on shows for approval and acceptance, rather than the opportunity to perform. I’ve taken it as a sign to perhaps accept stand-up’s persistent pleas to change its role in my life to “hobby.”
If I strain-out the ambition, I’ll be more able to enjoy the juice, right? A mind focused only on the quality of its product can create things without the nagging influence of their marketability. Continue…
As I merged onto the highway, the rain sounded like gravel on my windshield. Cars that weren’t pulled over were driving with their hazards on. Normally a 70mph pace allows you to outrun or pass quickly through a thunderstorm. This four hour drive was different. I had a rain cloud following me wherever I went, like a clinically depressed blob in a Paxil commercial. It was the universe reminding me that the elation of freedom turns quickly to melancholy.
For some reason I didn’t pack for this road trip, opting to just throw my clothes in the back of the car. Continue…
I know “Adrenalize” is the title of a recent and less-than-mediocre Def Leppard album. That’s exactly why I used it: I’m not afraid to be awesome. I am, however, afraid to death of being bored, and I seek to be “adrenalized” as much as possible.
Given my weakness for anxiety and panic (I have The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook if you want to borrow it), it seems masochistic to crave something from which I derive such intense discomfort. Gambling, competitive pool, and stand-up comedy are all activities that a person with an overactive fight or flight instinct might avoid. Continue…
I never thought I would be able to do it. I figured I would skip a day and then start drinking again. Now that I’m at 195 days in a row of “blogging,” I have too much invested to quit. I wish I could, honestly, but it’s too late. I never watched Julia and Julia, but I’m sure there were more than a few days when she didn’t quite feel like making Duck L’Orange.
People who try to keep up with reading my entries can probably tell the days when I don’t really have anything to write about (like today). Continue…
