Unacceptable Show-and-Tell Items

The key to show-and-tell is to bring something significant, but not so cherished that it can’t be lost or barfed on. My wife usually ends up saying something to Silas like, ”Think really hard about it and choose something really special to you. Sorry, no. You can’t take ice cream. Nah, probably not your pillow either.” Here are some slightly more inappropriate things:

  1. His brother’s shoes
  2. The small plastic baggie he found at “the bad park”
  3. A dead squirrel
  4. A live squirrel
  5. The bracelet with a pot leaf on it he found at “the bad park”
  6. Daddy’s pills
  7. The frozen placenta from his birth. (We don’t have that and neither should you–especially not ours, which we never had, so you couldn’t possibly have it unless you worked at the hospital. Sorry, I’m off track)
  8. The cat litter scoop
  9. A set of steak knives
  10. Any photo of me from my sophomore year of college
  11. An EpiPen
  12. Bathtub drain hair
  13. Test results
  14. The guy on our block who never talks
  15. My NWA “Straight Outta Compton” CD
  16. Anything he found in the drawer of mommy’s bedside table
  17. A print-out of this list
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gary says:

ok..i have to admit..i have Straight Outa Compton also. I have often times looked at my music collection and asked myself how much of it I wouldnt want my child to hear. Kind of frightening. great post.

Cayanne Ramuten says:

When my favorite 3rd grade teacher was sick in the hospital, I gave her a necklace of my step-mother’s… without asking. I, of course, didn’t even think about it, I just wanted to give her something nice.

Ali says:

My dad owned a meat packing plant when I was a kid. As a freshman in high school, I was asked to bring an item to my biology class. I can still remember walking through the hallways with a large paper grocery bag and classmates asking me what I was carrying. They all thought I was bluffing (I hate meat and have pretty much refused to eat it since I was a small child), until we got to class and sure enough a huge, fresh, bloody, cow’s heart was in the bag! I’m grossed out just thinking about it.

Gail Luther says:

When I was a kid (mid-60′s), I used to take my Dad’s glass eye. He had a spare.

jelly says:

My sister took one of my other siblings’ frozen placenta to school one day. I’m pretty sure it actually went really well. Have you ever seen one? They’re so cool to look at! Call me crazy, but those things are intense.

Jenna says:

Mums hairdryer

Kim says:

My son took a set of very large pliers and an enormous wrench in pre-k (how he got them in his backpack is beyond me…this was during his I’m-gonna-be-a-plumber phase). Not a problem except for that little zero-weapons-tolerance thingy rule. Yeah, I had to go pick up the future Roto-Rooter Man’s show and tell items before he got to s-n-t them. :( At least they didn’t handcuff my 4 year old and march his felonious hiney out the door, right?

Anonymous says:

Pliers and wrenches are considered weapons? Sad world… I suppose they’re in the same category as candlesticks, like in Clue?

Kim says:

Yes indeed, Col. Mustard in the Library. And in all fairness, in the hands of my particular male offspring, those pliers might well have become dangerous. Even though his real intention, aside from show and tell, was to fix the teacher’s pencil sharpener. Once. And. For. All. ;-)