Arlo Interviews The Honest Toddler

I received an email this morning from containing a transcript of my three year old son, Arlo, interviewing The Honest Toddler. As you might imagine, it gets pretty deep. I’ve copied it here, unedited.


Arlo: Any idea why my mom can’t make a sandwich while driving?
The Honest Toddler (HT): Maybe she didn’t hear you- ask again (louder). Don’t rule out that she dislikes you intensely and wants to see you suffer.

Arlo: How many books do they read to you at night? I’m averaging around 16 these days, eight of which are Clifford.
HT: Hold up, they said books don’t work at night….

Arlo: I wear Pampers because my mom loves me. Do you sit on that huge cold chair with a watery hole leading to the abyss? If so, what’s it like?
HT: Diapers4Life. It’s true that potty training is a byproduct of hatred. I like to mix it up: one pee in the potty, one behind the couch, another while sitting on a stack of mail. You don’t want to get locked into a routine.

Arlo: I know Yoga is what grown-ups do when they’re depressed. But what’s Etsy?
HT: Adults use this website when they want to burn money but are all out of matches.

Arlo: Any idea why everyone needs to use a separate bowl for cereal?
HT: I only use one pre-approved bowl for all meals so, no.

Arlo:  If we ever had a playdate, how would we create enough chaos so our moms can’t talk?
HT: A scrappy fistfight over a piece of string? LOL! Coloring a few walls with longwear lipstick is something we could also bond over if you’re interested.

Arlo: Do you ever feel bad for Dora because her parents don’t love her enough to care where she is?
HT: I feel like she’s really just wandering a cul-de-sac so she’s probably OK.

Arlo: What’s worse, pants or salad?
HT: They’ll both break you heart but salad is definitely more aggressive about it.

Arlo: Is wine medicine for grown-ups?
HT: That’s what I’ve been told although I’ve never seen medicine consumed out of large novelty mugs.


Please visit The Honest Toddler and buy the book, The Honest Toddler: A Child’s Guide to Parenting

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“Salad or pants?”

Jason says:

I thought of my 3YO ‘Lil Man during the question “What’s worse: pants or salad?”
I picture him naked, hurling salad at me from afar yelling, “I got your salad,…right here!”

The Cheeky Daddy

@dbncsuvet says:

Two of my fave people on Twitter: Arlo from @jasonmgood interviews @HonestToddler. Hilarious!

Starla says:

So funny. Thank you for introducing me to The Honest Toddler…absolutely hilarious!

It seems Arlo has done the interview perfectly well for a 3 year old. Nice job Arlo! The cutest part is when Arlo asked about Dora. I think he’s concerned about Dora, and he does have a point. It really showed how Arlo is loved and cared by his parents.