I was lucky enough to get an advance copy of Amber Dusick’s book, Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures, and well…I’m not surprised that it’s hilarious. What I love about this book the most, though, it how real it is. Amber (Crappy Mama) doesn’t hold anything back, and the result is therapeutic. If you have young kids, you will see yourself in many, if not all, of these stories. You’ll be laughing and nodding and probably crying, and maybe even wondering why Amber never took a Microsoft Paint class.
Interview with the Crappy Mama
Jason: Crappy Papa is always dressed in black. Are you secretly married to Morrissey?
Crappy Mama: Yes. I mean no. I mean yes. Actually Morrissey has much more hair. Maybe it’s Moby. Not telling.
Jason: Rule 16 in “The 50 Laws of Crappy Parenting” states that children will always catch a parent eating chocolate in the pantry. Since writing that rule, have you learned that you have to sneak down to the boiler room to eat?
Crappy Mama: Too many spiders in the boiler room. I’ve since learned to enjoy my chocolate delicacies in the East wing, behind the maid’s quarters.
Jason: I was first introduced to you via your post about the parental necessities of coffee and alcohol. How do you feel about “Green Parenting,” by which I mean, just smoking pot constantly until your kids are 18?
Crappy Mama: I don’t know, man. Wow, we’re all connected. Everything in the universe. Did you see that? Cooooool. Don’t Bogart that joint, dude. I loooooove Humphrey Bogart. Have you seen that one where he has plastic surgery to hide his face? It was that one with that woman. I forgot what it was called. Ummmmmm, what was the question again, man?
Jason: As a parent, I love this book, but are you at all concerned that it might really catch on with childless people and cause the mass extinction of human beings?
Crappy Mama: We’re doomed. Sorry everyone. Nah, pretty sure that 97% of childless people who read it will think, “That won’t happen to me when I have kids.” Denial always works.