Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures

I was lucky enough to get an advance copy of Amber Dusick’s book, Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures, and well…I’m not surprised that it’s hilarious. What I love about this book the most, though, it how real it is. Amber (Crappy Mama) doesn’t hold anything back, and the result is therapeutic. If you have young kids, you will see yourself in many, if not all, of these stories. You’ll be laughing and nodding and probably crying, and maybe even wondering why Amber never took a Microsoft Paint class.

Interview with the Crappy Mama

Jason: Crappy Papa is always dressed in black. Are you secretly married to Morrissey?

Crappy Mama: Yes. I mean no. I mean yes. Actually Morrissey has much more hair. Maybe it’s Moby. Not telling.

Jason: Rule 16 in “The 50 Laws of Crappy Parenting” states that children will always catch a parent eating chocolate in the pantry. Since writing that rule, have you learned that you have to sneak down to the boiler room to eat?

Crappy Mama: Too many spiders in the boiler room. I’ve since learned to enjoy my chocolate delicacies in the East wing, behind the maid’s quarters.

Jason: I was first introduced to you via your post about the parental necessities of coffee and alcohol. How do you feel about “Green Parenting,” by which I mean, just smoking pot constantly until your kids are 18?

Crappy Mama: I don’t know, man. Wow, we’re all connected. Everything in the universe. Did you see that? Cooooool. Don’t Bogart that joint, dude. I loooooove Humphrey Bogart. Have you seen that one where he has plastic surgery to hide his face? It was that one with that woman. I forgot what it was called. Ummmmmm, what was the question again, man?

Jason: As a parent, I love this book, but are you at all concerned that it might really catch on with childless people and cause the mass extinction of human beings?

Crappy Mama: We’re doomed. Sorry everyone. Nah, pretty sure that 97% of childless people who read it will think, “That won’t happen to me when I have kids.” Denial always works.

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Buy it on Amazon NOW PLEASE

Visit Amber’s Book Page on her site (there’s video)

I'm a contributing writer to Parents Magazine, GQ, Psychology Today and some others. My book, "This is Ridiculous. This is Amazing: Parenthood in 71 Lists" is available here Look for two more books in 2015: "Must. Push. Buttons (Bloomsbury Kids), and an as-of-yet untitled memoir I’ve appeared on Comedy Central’s “Live at Gotham” and “Nick Mom’s Night Out." I live in New Jersey with my wife and two sons and enjoy making them laugh more than anyone else.

8 comments On Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures

  • I was caught eating chocolate by my kid no less than two hours ago. She just came up out of nowhere and busted me!

  • Definitely been caught scarfing down chocolate in the kitchen. Now I have no choice but to buy this book.

  • jasonmgood AmberDusick “Denial always works”. Word.

  • What a perfect answer at the end… “pretty sure that 97% of
    childless people who read it will think,
    “That won’t happen to me when I have kids.” I swore I would never let my
    kids get hooked on video games and last night my two boys sat
    (somewhat) quietly through my daughter’s Variety Show with an iPod and iPad lighting up our area of the dark auditorium. I was so PROUD (of

  • jasonmgood AmberDusick Great interview!

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