Improving Non Alcoholic Beer

Non drinkers need to stop hiding behind NA beers disguised as regular beers. Here are a few suggestions for some more honest options. I know I would drink them with pride.

  1. Visitation Amber — What do you want more? Alcohol or weekends with your kids?
  2. Colt 86 — Keep the malt. Eighty-six the liquor.
  3. Let it Go — Face it,  booze was never going to make your father come home.
  4. Coors Clear — Tap the Rockies, not the babysitter.
  5. Lead Foot Lager — You can totally drink me in your car!
  6. PGA Lite — Hey Steve, haven’t you broken enough putters?
  7. Parole Porter — Yes, your cousin is a total dick, but it’s not worth going back to jail over.
  8. Trust — Isn’t it time you had your wife’s?
  9. NotBud — All the taste, none of the fun …. I mean REGRETS. Seriously, I really did mean regrets.

I'm a contributing writer to Parents Magazine, GQ, Psychology Today and some others. My book, "This is Ridiculous. This is Amazing: Parenthood in 71 Lists" is available here http://bit.ly/1exfm34. Look for two more books in 2015: "Must. Push. Buttons (Bloomsbury Kids), and an as-of-yet untitled memoir I’ve appeared on Comedy Central’s “Live at Gotham” and “Nick Mom’s Night Out." I live in New Jersey with my wife and two sons and enjoy making them laugh more than anyone else.

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