My friend gave me some pot for my 40th birthday and I’m terrified of it. I haven’t really smoked The Sweet Mary Jane since a quarter ounce cost $25. In my day you could go through a whole joint by yourself and question whether you were actually stoned. You didn’t have to worry about smelling like weed unless you smoked it while wearing a thick flannel shirt in a car with the windows rolled up.
This new reefer is some serious shit. I haven’t smoked any, and I’m not sure I plan to, because, frankly, I’m not sure what it is. I do know that, despite my best efforts, the whole house smells like it. I showed it to my wife and we both panicked like someone entrusted us with Mastodon DNA.
Look, Kevin gave me pot for my birthday.
Really? Why?
I’m not sure.
What are you going to do with it?
I don’t know. What do you think I should do with it?
You aren’t going to smoke it, are you?
No, I don’t think so. I mean, I don’t know, maybe?
Really? Why would you smoke pot?
Never mind, I won’t.
So you’re not going to smoke it?
Right.
But you want to keep it?
I think so, yes.
Is it illegal to have pot in the house? I don’t even know anymore.
I think so, yes.
Well, just wrap it up in something and hide it somewhere.
I have it in 4 layers of Ziploc baggies stuffed in an empty pill bottle wrapped in a t-shirt and shoved in the back of my dresser, and I can smell it from the patio. My wife and I have been testing different parts of the house, “Yup, I can smell it from here!” Should I just stuff it inside a Renuzit? Is there something weird that can neutralize the smell, like bacon grease?
Maybe the weed geeks can create a nice potent strain that smells just vaguely of burgers cooking on the grill, or better yet, has no scent at all. I know sniffing it is the best way you can tell if “bud” is “kind” before smoking it, but I’ve been in Pier Ones that have less aroma than my bedroom right now.
Until I get the balls to smoke it, or donate it to the needy, I’ll just tell people who come to my house that I spilled Drakkar Noir on my pet llama.
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{ 32 comments… read them below or add one }
mason jar
As far as I know if you will put it in a glass jar full of coffee with the hermetic lock the smell won't go out. As well as when you will open it, it will smell of coffee. Coffee is an amazing smell neutraliser. The fable goes that the dogs on Polish border could not smell through the coffee.
Buy some "smelly bags" at the local head shop. they only cost like $2 and they will completely block out the smell.
Now we're talkin'.
Try putting it in a jar of peanut butter. Apparently thats supposed to mask the smell so much even drug dogs cant smell it :)
The consensus seems to be that you should hide it inside of your lungs.
Pretty sure the only way to get rid of the smell is to burn it. Inhale deeply while you take care of this unfortunate problem. Alternatively, you could invite a skunk into your home and then yell "BOO!" at him when he doesn't expect it.
Crappy Mama! good to see you here
A friend from college freshman year of college came back with a pound of pot. a POUND. Don't worry, she got a deal on it – she bought 16 ounces for the price of 15 ounces. And how did she get it back? In a tampon box. (Who would look in a tampon box?) Or at least this is the story I heard.
Either way. She thought it would be okay if she kept it in a zip lock bag in a dresser drawer. It took about 0.13 minutes for the entire suite to smell like weed. Didn't stay in that room very long…
this post just made me wish I wasn't married to the fuzz. hahahaha!
Spark it up and write more about that one guy who slept on the dead dog as a baby.
yes, i love that guy!
I tried it to see if it helped my insomnia. Then I remembered why I had skipped pot and gone straight to the hard stuff. I just don't like it.
Also, if you put those ziploc bags in a jar filled with coffee grounds, you will no longer smell it. I may or may not have sold the stuff in the past, and always traveled with it buried in a tin of Folgers. Works like a charm.
"I spilled Drakkar Noir on my pet llama"–you gave me a flashback to my college years with that one.
I'm enjoying your blog silently, but I have to pipe up (snicker) to say these are the most hilarious comments I've seen so far.
My opinion is that only 21-year-olds backpacking through Amsterdam and retired empty-nesters really have time to smoke pot. Parents of two small kids – we don't even have time to watch a DVD, how on earth would we manage a joint and its aftermath?
Oddly enough OVEN BAGS completely lock in the smell. You know the kind of bags you can cook meat & veggies in the oven with. You could walk thru airport security with an ounce in an ovenbag and nobody would smell a thing! Not even the drug dogs. How you think Willie Nelson does it ;)
You're right, pot today is WAY more potent than it used to be. This past Halloween my hubby and I took a couple hits of a joint thinking, "fun – we'll do this and hop in the car in 3 or 4 hrs to go get the kids". Lol, yeh right, not quite how the night went. At the moment I'm sleep training my boy and would give anything for that joint of yours. ;) Cake will have to do instead.
Smoke it! Make sure no one's teething/sick/ waking up and go for it. Put on a movie and remember what it's like to be carefree…..
If I do smoke it, I'll need to do it alone by a stream with some kind of emotional coach or spotter
You're both cursed with overactive smell detectors.
I'm with your Dad….so invite me over already. haha
Who knows but some future visitor or even a relative who visits might be thrilled that you have some MJ in the house.
I have never been more proud of you.
that's awesome.
Holy Kazootie!
I just laughed out loud, and didn’t see it coming, so I may have just spit all over my monitor.
Was it the Renuzit that got you?
You can be confident it would get you onboxiously stoned if it has given you the paranoids from simply smelling it ;)
Put it under the floor boards. That ought to do it. ;)
best thing to do to get rid of the smell is to smoke it.
Take that Ziplock and put in the freezer.
But first, pack it in a canister of coffee, then freeze it. That ought to do it….