This Toy Maker is out to Save the World

As I understand it, two things can happen this year: The world ends (Mayan prophecy), or everything continues as normal (everyone else’s prophecy). Not a lot of grey area there, but those appear to be the two situations. Keep in mind that I get all my news from magazines at pharmacies. Seems like given those two options, the toy/training facility you see below, might just be the perfect gift.


Let’s say the world ends. Terrible, yes, but bad stuff happens to good planets every day. I’m sure some people will survive, and they better know how to grow some serious crops, right? Since the soil will be poisonous (pharmacy mag), this self-contained lab will be the only thing capable of providing the food needed to rebuild the human race. Nice job, toy maker.

Maybe the world won’t end, and as much of a snoozer as that is, it’s probably preferable. If civilization continues to exist, we’re clearly headed toward the legalization of marijuana in the near future, and, as a result, a very different socio-economic landscape.

Here’s an interesting question: Are we properly training the next generation of amazing kind bud growers? This is no different than the space race of the 60’s and the hydroponic lab is the new chemistry set.  It’s going to be hard for us to compete with the rest of the world if we aren’t heavily invested in creating the best pot farmers. Wouldn’t you be proud if the Neil Armstrong of cannabis was an American? He’ll be Canadian (from Vancouver and named “Blaze”), but it would still be nice.

Some might see a toy hydroponics lab, but I see a tiny personal business school.

Thankfully, this toy company has come along and saved us from either nonexistence or irrelevance. If you examine the background of the photograph, they appear to make a companion product called “Talking Microscope,” which is best used after having grown and smoked marijuana made in the Hydro Lab. This place is full service and they deserve some credit.

I'm a contributing writer to Parents Magazine, GQ, Psychology Today and some others. My book, "This is Ridiculous. This is Amazing: Parenthood in 71 Lists" is available here Look for two more books in 2015: "Must. Push. Buttons (Bloomsbury Kids), and an as-of-yet untitled memoir I’ve appeared on Comedy Central’s “Live at Gotham” and “Nick Mom’s Night Out." I live in New Jersey with my wife and two sons and enjoy making them laugh more than anyone else.

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