Lindsay and I agree that neither of us is particularly suited to home school our kids. I don’t have the patience and she doesn’t know enough facts. If you want to see my wife scramble, ask her the name of the first man to orbit the earth, or why fire is hot.
I suppose we could do it together, but, save starting a band, there’s probably no better way to ruin a marriage than a joint teaching venture. If we have trouble agreeing on how often our kids’ hair should be washed, how can we possibly find common ground when it comes to the bubonic plague, parallelograms, Van Gogh, volcanoes, robots, love, flatulence, West Virginia mining, Karl Marx, aerodynamics, Native Americans, water purification, congruency, Erlenmeyer flasks, and menopause.
I’m certainly drawn to the idea of letting them follow their own talents and interests without being sidetracked by disciplines that don’t suit them. ”Put down that guitar and finish those mathematical proofs” seems like child abuse.
School is a vestige of the industrial revolution, and still primarily focused on producing disciplined factory workers. Sure, there have been some modern improvements like “art” and “music”, but since the Bush administration instituted No Child Left Behind, primary education has become even more regimented. When ten year-olds start losing hair from the stress caused by government mandated tests, I feel like I’m living in a world run by a gaggle of tiger moms.
I hate the idea of my kids sitting in school wishing they were doing something else. Even if that something else is drinking Old Milwaukee on the train tracks behind Nicky Mclead’s house. I learned a lot more about life (particularly the purpose of vaginas) there than I did in organic chemistry. I fought valiantly for a C- in that class and remember absolutely nothing. But if it wasn’t for canned beer and railroad tracks I might never have become a father.
Of course there has to be some discipline; home schooling your kids doesn’t mean they spend all day swilling booze with their Mormon friends (the majority of home schooled kids are Mormon. I made that up, but it might be true). That’s what Brigham Young University is for.
Instead of forcing your kids to diagram a sentence, why not give them a hunk of clay and leave the room for a while? Honestly, which is better for them? If you’re thinking the grammar lesson, your name is Mrs. Blanchard and you made me fear language when I was eleven.
There are great private schools for the children of people who run hedge funds. There are also a handful of fantastic public schools that aren’t under the No Child Left Behind mandate, but unless you live in the right district, you’ll have to fist fight triathlete moms with botoxed cleavage to secure your kid a spot.
Everyone I know who’s happy and creative achieved that state in spite of their education. Do I trust that my kids can survive like I did — albeit barely?
Maybe I’m where I am today because school was so awful. We make our best friends at school because we’re bonded over the shared suffering, which in turn drives us to creative outlets for sanity. Our love for playing music was born from boredom. Without alienated midwestern teens, the world’s angst reserves might run dry.
Then again, maybe if we try too hard to give our boys a certain type of life and steer them in a particular direction, they’ll be tempted to do the opposite. Honestly, the last thing I want in my family is a Republican senator. I’m not saying I wouldn’t love him, but he probably wouldn’t get my vote.
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Commented earlier, but I came across this post in my RSS feed and thought it brught up some good points about the costs of home education versus private education versus public education. It's not as cut and dry as some might think.
http://heartkeepercommonroom.blogspot.com/2012/02…
I especially liked the summarizing paragraphs at the end.
I think the decision of school vs. home school is something we all have to make for ourselves. For some people, home schooling is the best option. For other people, not so much. And either option is okay.
Also, I find it is very important to mention that just because you decide to send your child to public school does not mean that the school becomes their only option for learning. You can supplement what they are learning in school. Sure you could say "I shouldn't have to do that" and you might be right, but it is what it is.
Personally, I can't home school my children. I really just don't think it would work out. And I'm okay with that. My oldest goes to a great public school (we live in Canada, not sure if that makes a difference haha) and in a few years his younger brother will join him.
My mom homeschooled six kids WAY before it was popular because the public schools in our neighborhood were disastrous (there's a reason the middle school was nicknamed Pine Penitentiary). Both of my parents are professors and my mother is a social butterfly, so we turned out okay. As a criminal defense attorney (AKA the profession for failed actors with lots of student loans), I like to think I have both the academic prowess and the social skills necessary to survive.
Now, my little brother is somewhat lacking in the social skills area, but he's also an astrophysicist at MIT. I'd say his lack of social skills is due more to that fact than him being homeschooled.
None of this really matters. The important thing is that neither of us are Republican senators.
As a public school teacher's kid, I always saw homeschooling as something people did when they wanted to guarantee social awkwardness. My senior year in high school, one of my classmates came to school for the first time, just so he was "prepared" for college, and it was a horrible experience for him. I believe his homeschooling experience was closer to the "unschool" philosophy, so the structure and expectations of a mid-western public high school in the early 90's was a bit overwhelming for him.
That said, now that high school is many moons behind me, and I've witnessed the benefits 8 years of homeschooling had on my nephew (who has Asperger's, FYI), my opinions have definitely changed. I read a few blogs, here and there, that are homeschooling for many different reasons, few of them religious or political, and for me, they generate ideas about approaching informal learning with my daughter.
My kiddo will turn 4 this spring, and my intention at this point, is to send her to school for kindergarten when she's eligible. Not because I feel incapable of continuing her education at home (because let's face it, right now, I'm her teacher), but because at this point, she wants to go. Preschool and previous experience with daycare have set some expectations, so any time we pass by a school, she asks when she gets to go. Should it not work well, I'm prepared to investigate all kinds of options, from charter or even private school (argh! tuition!) to doing it myself. The biggest lesson I've learned in the last few years is that all preconceived notions about what "homeschooling" is are wrong. Every family chooses it for different reasons and executes it differently. It works for some kids, and not for others.
Oh dear, I feel a long one coming on. Do you need a degree to be a good teacher? If you want to teach a room of thirty kids, probably. If you want to teach tough subjects like chemistry, higher math, sure, that can be important.
If you want to teach one on one, and guide your kid's learning instead of letting a government run institution do it? I must give a resounding HELL NO.
I didn't even read the ranty post mentioned above, but clearly I am a parent who decided I didn't like what is going on in schools enough to believe we can do it just fabulously on our own terms.
The thing about home directed learning and public school is this: there are pros and cons to both. One is not better than the other in general. I firmly believe this. The real question to ask is: which one is better for your kids and your family *this year*? Home school nor public school have to be life time decisions. You don't have to say "well, honey, buy the calico, you better start dressing like a polygamist because we are doin' home school here on out yee haw!"
Honestly, it is saying you want to be able direct your children's learning and pace this year, and that you want the freedom to not fight every morning to find shoes, find loose papers only to get your kid there barely on time for the epic time waste of 15 minutes of attendance and calming the riot of kids who all have different learning styles but will only be taught in the way that serves the needs of a group, not the individuals.
Choosing home school for us means my kid who is great at math can be three grades ahead in that subject, and it's ok if his english is a little behind because we can go at his pace since we do it year round. Education becomes not a sprint to June where the kids can then check out and forget everything. It is a year round marathon.
The secret of home schooling for the first few years anyway (because I can't speak for older kiddos, I don't have any yet): when you learn one on one, you can do an entire days worth of learning in 2 or 3 hours. And then your child can actually play and be a kid. Or learn to vacuum and fold laundry and still have time for afternoon sports. — They aren't exhausted from sitting still all day.
There are no 9pm homework fights. Field trips aren't three times a semester, it's twice a week. They don't give a shit what car you drive and what brand of shoes they have because negative peer influence is put off for awhile. — By the way, home school kids I know are very socialized. They are less "culturalized" and frankly, I think a lot about our culture in the US (sexualizing women from a young age, materialism, etc) is OK to leave out of our lives for a few more years.
There is nothing that says a 2nd grader needs to know who Ke$ha is to have "social skills."
Sorry for long comment, from a family who is totally not weird but has really enjoyed home schooling and learning with other families who choose the same. Our kids have a great time together. :)
Just wanted to offer a thumbs-up on this comment, from someone who a) was home educated for her junior and senior years of high school, b) married someone who was educated at home for his entire school experience, c) taught in a special-needs integrated preschool, and d) fully intends to continue educating her son at home as he grows. He's only eleven months old right now. ;)
You pretty much said all of the points that came to mind for me!
This question has been running through my head a lot lately, too. My son is not yet two and both my husband and I work full-time, so home schooling would mean a huge shift in lifestyle for at least one of us. Right now, we're really lucky to have our kiddo in a great home-based Montessori school near us. I'm wondering if you might have similar options in your area. I love that it's a social environment, but not traditional at all. I joke that it's all the stuff I would be doing if I *could* make the transition and stay at home – self-guided learning and lots of outdoor play in a small, but somewhat structured setting. The truth that I'm learning to embrace is that I really like my career outside of the house and I don't know that I'd make the best home school teacher. I'm super thankful to have found a group of teachers (guides in Montessori-speak) that can benefit my kid socially and educationally. I think we've found our path at least through grade school. [High school is another discussion entirely in my mind and I'm glad not to have to think about it for some time.]
I totally hear you on this one. My six yr old daughter love, love LOVES school and does pretty well. But my little guy is already a bit of a behavioral challenge and DOES NOT believe that anything good can happen sitting still. I worry that the minute I get him in school that I am going to get a call from the school guidance counselor (most likely a failed Republican Senator) suggesting that I medicate him for ADHD. Which I most likely will NOT be doing… I would love to hear how your decision turns out for you.
Feeling very grateful that we live in a city where we have the option to register our kids in whichever school we choose (providing the kids who are designated to that school haven't filled all of the spaces). And that we have publicly funded schools that we can get our kids in to if they show a keen interest in music, arts, languages, science, or sports. No need for a hedge fund or anything fancy…..ok wait lists for the specialized schools but that's no big deal! I do not have the organizational skills I think it would take to home school! I can barely get the bills paid ontime …….and we use automatic bank withdrawals!
I was homeschooled all the way through, and I believe it is wonderful, but every child is different. There are six of us in my family, half through college already, and half still in high school. We were involved in sports, dance, co-ops, and other things. It takes a lot of hard work and sacrifice from the parents of a homeschooler for that child to get the education they deserve. My Physics teacher worked for NASA; my Calculus teacher was an engineer; my Language teachers had degrees in their fields; my parents were fantastic teachers, and my favorites. They weren't my favorites because they are my parents, but because they cared about our individual learning. I may not be great at things like English, which is my sister's major, but I am fantastic at mathematics. I am going to school for my Doctorate in Mathematics, and I think homeschooling was wonderful. But once again, homeschooling depends a lot upon the child, and the parents, and their ability to work together for both the child and parent to learn.
Homeschooling never even crossed my radar until our plan for schools started to cave in. We ended up in a small and highly rated local Catholic school. Once I realized my kids were in school just shy of 40 hours per week I began to look for other options. (We also feel our eldest child has a learning disorder and the school keeps blowing us off.)
This is an ongoing issue in our household. I keep offering to homeschool our kids, and one says NO WAY! while the other one, who is actually thriving at the school wants nothing more than to stay home… But then again, he is a 5 year old boy who thinks our days would be filled with Star Wars Lego and Beyblades….
So we muddle on….
But the Republican thing, that has always been on our radar. Our family saying is "Republicanism is fine in your friends, but unforgivable in your family". Yeah, we are opened minded like that.
Now we have to be vigilant about the Catholic thing too…..
For what it's worth, I was homeschooled from first grade on, and I turned out okay so far. However, my brother was homeschooled until high school, when he started private school. My sisters homeschooled until I graduated from high school, and then started attending a public school, though the youngest went through a few different transitional programs. Every kid is different. If you're seriously thinking about homeschooling, I'd repeat what others have already mentioned: that there are a lot of co-ops and communities where each parent can contribute something. My high school English teacher was a professional editor, my Spanish teacher taught ESL, my biology teacher was an RN, my computer teacher (my dad) was a computer programmer and database administrator, etc. And because of things like dance class, boy scouts, and co-ops, homeschooled kids have just as many opportunities to socialize as public school kids. I've known plenty of the stereotypical awkward homeschooled kids (though mine were Baptist, not Mormon), but I've also met plenty of kids exactly like them who went to big, diverse public schools. Environment isn't everything. What's important is that the individual needs of each of your children are met.
I was homeschooled all the way through, and I would have to agree. Every child is different. There are six of us in my family, and half through college already. We were involved in sports, dance, co-ops, and other things. It takes a lot of hard work and sacrifice from the parents of a homeschooler for that child to get the education the deserve. My Physics teacher worked for NASA; my Calculus teacher was an engeineer; my Language teachers had degrees in the fields; my parents were fantastic teachers. I may not be great at things like English, which is my sister's major), but I am fantastic at mathematics. I am going to school for my Doctorate in Mathematics, and I think homeschooling was wonderful. But once againg, homeschooling depends a lot upon the child, and the parents, and their ability to work together for both the child and parent to learn.
I worked harder in high school than I ever intend to work every again in my life. I'd be up until 2:00am every day – and junior year was the worst. That's what you get for being too ambitious. Although, I've got to tell you, those are some of my best friends… so I think you might be onto something with your suffering through it all together brings people together theory…
Just a word of observation..i have worked in a school for 20 years as a para.. also my kids went to the same school… and they all loved school. They are as different as four kids can be and they found good friends, plenty of stimulation, adventures and so many excellent role models. i loved working in school and helping those kids that needed an extra boost. i worked with teachers that i was totally awestruck by… as an adult i was constantly learning new things in my school. One of the most rewarding things to see is watching a child come in at the K level and having lots of problems and seeing that child become well adjusted, learn how to get along with peers, follow the rules, and flourish. i saw this over and over and it is a very powerful witness to the workings of good schools. Well, i could go on forever because this is something i see every day and feel very proud to be a part of.. of course, Minnesota does have an excellent reputation for education so i'm not sure how other schools behave. Hope this gives you an other view point! Plus our school has so many parent volunteers that you can do lots and lots with your child's education and watch the professionals do their magic.
My daughter is in 2nd grade in a public school within walking distance from our house. The school has a 78% "poverty rating", which means basically that 78% of the students qualify for the free lunch program. We have 37 languages spoken natively in our school by the students (can you even NAME 37 languages??) and our school is a RAINBOW of skin and cultural colors. It's just a public school, there's no fancy programs there – for example, they only get 30 minutes in a computer lab each week – but my daughter loves it and comes home stimulated and happy every day. She loves her friends there and has loved each teacher she's had so far. Does she love every subject? No. Does she work hard to get good grades in all areas? Yes, and we are so proud. I feel blessed to have her enjoy school so much. I don't expect her to love every second or to be following her bliss every moment and ignoring what slightly bores her. LIFE isn't like that. If you grow up expecting to only ever work on things you just LOVE and in which you are very interested, you'll end up dissatisfied with your work, your marriage, and I'd even say child-rearing. I stand by our decision to send her to public school.
Next year, when all the standardized testing starts, I'll be reporting back. :)
Dammit Jason! You either stalk my facebook or you live under my sons crib. If it's the 2nd, please, feel free to paint my toe nails when I pat him back to sleep at 2 am.
We just had this discussion about our son. We can't decide if socialization skills or academia is more important. But you can't have both these days. So Home school and have a great, but socially awkward son, or send him to public school and have a dumb child with social skills. I think the 2nd one means we'd have a Republican Senator on our hands. And we would NOT be voting for him.
Jason, I'm a young mother to 2 future homeschooled girls (a baby and 4 year old), AND a Mormon… Not only do my husband and I already hang on your every word because you are the only adult conversation we have each day (we certainly don't have time to talk to each other what with the kids around and all), but of course I'll be posting this on Facebook to all my Mormon friends and Homeschooling nerds.
Yes, you are funny, but I also don't get out much so I'm not entirely sure if that's a compliment or not.
Definately look into homeschooling. Some parents who feel the same way as you yet don't feel entirely confident have formed homeschool co-ops, where another homeschooling parent teaches your kids, or perhaps a group of homeschoolers meet each day and a privately hired teacher comes (yet still teaches in a homeschooling manner rather than industrial government run schools). Read some John Taylor Gatto. Watch "Waiting for Superman". Or Trevor Eissler's "Montessori Madness" on YouTube.
There's something that changes in our brains when we see how wide-eyed and full of potential our children are. I would do anything to avoid having that spark, that light, dulled in their eyes. I want them to have a zest for learning, not to suck the enjoyment of learning out of them.
You might want to look into Waldorf education. And tell your wife that you don't need to know a lot to homeschool. There are so many different methods and options for tudors you really only have to look at yourself as the orchestrator of your child's education.
Yeah, make that equivalent. Fortunately, I used to know how to spell when my kids were little. I don't need that skill any more. In related news, why doesn't your comment box detect misspelled words? Or is that mis-spelled? And does it really matter?
I would have homeschooled my daughters in a heartbeat if the tech and resources available today had been available in the early to mid-nineties. Have you looked into it at all? Because I don't think you have to know much of anything OR have an enormous store of patience with all of the materials available and online access to experts.
Having said that, though, my 9 year old granddaughter has thrived at two of the three schools she attended. That third one, though, was the equivilant of child abuse to her. Still, you may want to consider just trying out your local school. You can always pull him out if it's awful, that's what we did. But you may get lucky, so maybe it's worth a shot.
I just started homeschooling my daughter this year. I always wanted to before now but she never listened to me as well as she did to others. However after kindergarten she saw an ad for k12.com and asked if she could homeschool. I admire teachers and all they do but for her and myself it is the right decision right now (it might change in the future). It has worked out better than I hoped. My dd has always been shy, even in public school, but she has opened up since homeschooling. She is active in two co-ops, girl scouts and programs at the YMCA just to name a few of the socialization opportunities she has. One of the classes she takes is even show and tell so she learns public speaking and thought organization. For foreign languages right now she does Dora but will be going to an immersion class at one of her co-ops next year. She will choose between Latin, French and Spanish. There is recess and group lunch. We do workbooks and online computer classes that monitor and test her knowledge. Basically it all falls down to if you are comfortable with it and willing to do it. Also it depends on the homeschooling community since I know not all of them have such a support group and opportunities. Just wanted to chime in. (p.s. my husband is an instructor so I know teachers are not just people with a piece of paper.)
Thanks, Cass
BRAVO!! I'm posting this for all the teachers I know and work with.
If you have a moment perhaps you might be willing to look at my post on this subject. It's the only time I've really ranted and I feel very strongly about why home-schooling is generally a bad idea borne of dangerous illusions. … And then people disagreed with me.
http://the-pish-posh.blogspot.com/2012/01/do-you-…
Thanks for sharing that. Both my parents are teachers. I love teachers, but generally detest the programs they're forced to follow.
I agree with your writing about NCLB!! That was the WORST mistake that could have been made. Luckily Schools can now ask for waivers from the mandates of NCLB!! School is important but if a teacher can't make it fun an exciting for the kids to learn then the kids get bored. Thats exactly what the NCLB did for teachers!! I am currently going to school to get my bachelors in Elementary Education and that is one of the hottest topics around. I have also learned it is harder to teach you own kids than it is someone elses!!
Oh god I never thought about them voting republican. Worried he might get a girl pregnant in High School.. Check! Get arrested for illegal drug use… Check! Vote Republican? Gods! How much stress you have put on my worry-dar now.
Same here!