You ever go on a vacation with people and their dog? “Stop the car, I think Riley needs water.” Wait, you want to stop the car because your dog is thirsty? I’ve had to pee for 45 minutes and no one cared, but if the dog sticks out his tongue and it’s slightly less pink than Cesar Milan recommends, you flip out like we blew a tire.
You never get to do what you really want, because the dog is treated like he’s on the fence about putting you in his will. There’s a beautiful pool everyone wants to jump in, but because Riley is allergic to chlorine we have to walk half a mile to a lake that smells like it’s filled with asparagus pee. Have fun Riley, I’m just gonna sit here and wait for you to get all went and jump on top of me. Really looking forward to that.
We finally get back and settle in to hang out for the evening and the dog has to go for a walk. How much exercise does that mouth-breathing hobgoblin need? Walk, feed, walk, walk, feed. People use it as a criticism that you treat someone like a dog. Dogs are treated like Royalty. Why is it that humans only get that treatment when they’re infants or about to die? In between those stages of life, we do whatever dog owners think their dogs want to do. In reality, the dogs probably just want to be left alone to eat Kleenex and hump my travel pillow. So let’s lock him in a room so we can have some human time.
No, I am not currently on vacation with a dog.
Liked This? Buy My Book!