What happens if you give kids exactly what they want for as long as they want it? They’ll eventually get bored and move onto something else, right? Ummm, no. A week ago during the hurricane we just gave our 4 year old the iPad and left him in his “fort.” He didn’t leave his couch cushion shed for 8 hours – It was all hot and jungly like a Clemson dorm room. Every hour or so he would yell out his requests: “Milk please!” “Toast fingers!” I felt like we had a 20 year-old holed up in his childhood bedroom spending the weekend cramming for the LSATs. After watching 4 movies (I think) he walked out of his bunker with the innocence of Lazlo Hollyfield; “Huh, what? What time is it? Why is it dark? Can I watch a show?”
We’re in the midst of a similar tactic with our 2 year old. I’ve now listened to the Bob The Builder song 867 times. Here’s the best part, though; he only likes the intro which lasts 47 seconds, so we have to restart it EVERY 47 SECONDS. We’ve been at it off and on for 3 days. We’ve all lost our minds. I’m constantly singing a heavy metal version of it in my head, and my wife is whistling it while pruning our raspberry bush. The only positive aspect so far is that I now know exactly what I can do in 47 seconds. I can take 3/4 a pee; mow one strip of grass; eat half a turkey sandwich; or almost fall asleep.
We try to have it off occasionally, but one of us always absentmindedly starts humming the tune, causing him to go completely bananas. We obviously can’t say the name of the show in front of him, but we have to talk about it to each other, because it’s CONSTANTLY in our heads. For a while we were using the code “B the B,” but he caught on to that. It escalated to where we hesitated to even use words that contained the letter “b” for fear that it would set him off. Everything in our house is a B the B trigger now. I can’t even take out my phone or load the dishwaser without hearing that telltale heavy breathing of excitement running up behind me, “Baa da baa baa.” Our two iPhones, two Macbooks, iMac and iPad are are cued up to deliver a hit of B the B whenever he needs it.
After about an hour of listening to the song he requests an upgrade to watch the show on the TV. Yeah, and ONLY the intro. Now I have to watch and listen to it, and rewind it everY 54 seconds (there’s a little extra in the TV show. I can pee during it). I found a site where you can loop a youtube video, so I got just the intro and set that to loop on my laptop. He watched it for about 10 minutes before banging out some combination of keystrokes that closed the browser window, deleted my search history, reformatted the hard drive, and Skyped the Kremlin (He once played with my Dad’s phone for 20 seconds, and when he gave it back it displayed the message: “Your settings have been saved.” No one knows what he did, or what the effects might be).
So, we’re back to him listening to it on my phone while he carries it around giving it to me with a tiny cry every 47 seconds. Someone help us. My biggest fear is that I’ll somehow become addicted to the show. If you’re exposed to something long enough, your subconscious adjusts to enjoy it simply as a means of sanity and survival. I’m waiting for the evening when we finally get him to bed and walk back downstairs like zombies and put on another episode. “Wanna see what Scoop, Muck and Dizzy are up to, babe?” “Yea, cue it up.”
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My son isn’t too bad but my nephew is only a few years younger than me and lived with us. He went through three distinct phases. 1. Orm and Cheep (kids show in the UK ‘if only cheep could fly, then he, a proper bird would be’ – 20 years later and I can still sing the whole frigging song). 2. Thomas the Tank Engine. 3. Labyrinth.
For years, I didn’t realise that you could actually watch regular TV in the mornings.
Bob the Builder, yes we can!! Fffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…….
With 3 shinkickers, my husband and I have found ourselves whistling damn annoying kids’ shows songs for the past 11 yrs.
But, what about my then 4 yr old daughter who was obsessed with the baseball scene in the original Twilight movie. I liked the song myself, the first 10 times, but she insisted on watching just this one scene over and over and over. And I don’t know why she was even permitted to watch Twilight. Really.
My husband and I have a strict rule that we cannot sing/mention any viral song that is playing over and over and over like your BtheB song. (Ours were Wonder Pets and Yo Gabba Gabba songs.) We promise, no matter how crazy we have been driven with a song, we do NOT infect the other person by mentioning/singing it. We have, however, each accidentally infected by humming distractedly.
Its not a “kid’s” song, but pretty sure I’ve heard “All The Singles Ladies” more often than Beyonce has. But with 4 kids, ANYTHING that keeps them all happy, I’ll gladly listen to ALL day long. I don’t even notice it anymore.
Good god, this was what it felt like when my toddler son (now six) was obsessed with the Thomas The Tank Engine song “Troublesome Trucks”!!! We must’ve watched that one video a kerjillion times in one day. My second son (now 18 months) just discovered the song when it played on TV the other day. I think I experienced something akin to PTSD when I heard it’s opening notes bounce happily into my living room again. Thank you for allowing me to laugh my ass off knowing other parents are living similar nightmares.
Also THANKYOUFORREALS for being an atheist parent. I’m an atheist momma living just outside Nashville, TN, and often feel like I am an alien on Planet Jesus. Good to know there are more like me somewhere out there in the galaxy.
You are funny as nut.
You poor people! When my nieces (2 and 5) come to visit, and they want to watch the same thing over and over again, we look at them solemnly, quirk a querulous brow at them and purse our lips. The 5 year old has ALWAYS responded to this the same way. Eyes go wide, eyebrows lift up, lower jaw slowly droops and a tremor of fear trembles the lower lip. This girl has never been beaten and spanked maybe once or twice by us, but this look kills any protests she has when I tell her I will not watch the care bear movie again….
Good for you!
Umm, you spank your nieces? No wonder they’re terrified of you. Around here, trips to aunts’ and uncles’ houses are as fun as carnival rides.
My two year old has a similar obsession with The Wiggles “Shake Your Sillies Out”. It is like crack to her…
One of the first questions I get when I come into a home with toddlers who of course are fascinated by the computer, ipad, etc is “should I get them a kiddy keyboard?” A kid’s computer? Without hesitation, not skipping a beat I say NO…Did I mention I say NO? Once the dragon is shown, there is no going back. They are going to try and dominate your TV, one vice at a time please…”I need 20 minutes to get dinner. I need my coffee before I can become mom/dad”…ok I say, you can use a kiddy program to amuse them for ten minutes even when they are 8 mos old. BUT I tell them, try not to make it a tv program. Use baby signs, a kids music dvd, something that won’t drive you insane after the 100th time…Well, they will all drive you insane but at least you will have chosen your poison! TV programs…you get hooked into the whole commerical thing and next thing you know the play area has smurfs with their own congress….Damage control. Think that from the time you conceive…how will I do damage control….Of course, it is easy for me to go in and implement these things for them, even withdraw them from the tv addiction–I’m not mom so they are not sure if I really will do what I say! But the true test (no my kids don’t count because…well, what did I know back then?!) was when my the kid came to visit. The “I can’t sleep through the night because my gums are swollen bigger than my tonsils”, “I don’t want that fruit even though I loved it yesterday” and “hey wonder what these buttons do grandpa”…
Would I stay strong? Would I not turn on the boob tube? I’d like to tell you I was a model of what I preach. But unfortunately, I had him all night so my daughter could finally rest and did I mention he has the cutest of blue eyes and a dimple that would melt a glacier? And…it’s not like I don’t have instant download from Netflix. But I did think ahead “damage control” as in “what will drive me less crazy in the next ten days if they are on 45 min in morning and evening? ” I decided on Thomas the train since he loves trains and much as there’s so much fake sugar I had to be tested when he left, I put on Barney. That gave me time for coffee and cook supper for the unappreciative imp. And bless his heart, he still loves Baby Signs. He was totally transfixed at 12 mos to the point I wanted to check his breathing every once in awhile so I knew a kid who had the potential for addiction. So I made sure I reminded my daughter about Damage Control. So far so good if you don’t count his need for you to read every book 20 times a day and his ability to follow you around with the book and bang on your butt with it if you say “in a bit”. Will let you know how my resolve goes when he comes at 18 mos in Nov…So I do have pity on your. Too late to hide the Ipad but maybe if you let the battery run down you will get away with “broke”?
Little C is all about Yo Gabba Gabba and they actually do have some helpful songs to learn to not bite your friends, but after distacting C from watching another episode, we go and sing one of the songs while we’re trying to help her “keep trying, keep trying, don’t give up, don’t give up” and she wants to watch another episode. She gets stuck on one at a time that we have to watch seven times a day for three weeks. Right now we’re totally into the “Clean” episode, which I have decided is pretty good.
I offer you this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=czHheOru3hs
We watch it on a loop now.
It’s not bad the first few thousand times.
Then it gets to be a little much.
My 4 year old and Max and Ruby. I can SOOOOO relate.
too too funny guys
but, i can relate right now with my 3 yr old daughter its mommy wanna watch wonder pets and im always askin cant we watch something else please ???? no wonder pets and as soon as it starts she off the couch and running and jumping and singing at the top of lungs. She will watch but as soon as the music starts its like shes been possessed, she cant hear you , cant see you , and she for sure isnt going to take a pause lol
I, too, feel your pain. In our house, it was first the Wiggles and now Super Why. I know every stupid song and episode by heart. I catch myself humming the tunes at work, and want to stab myself in the eye.
We’re like that with The Backyardigans here. Not only do we all – AAAALLLL of us – know every episode of the entire series by heart (thank you, Netflix Instant Streaming!), but now my nearly-3-year old requests specific episodes. Sometimes they exist, sometimes we have to decipher what it is he wants (“yucky one” = “Race to the Tower of Power”), and sometimes he wants episodes that simply do not exist. Think a 3-year old cares that something he wants does not exist in reality? Nope. And he’ll provide the tantrums to prove it.
Note to “Backyardigans” producers: Please make an episode involving a “fixed car.” That’s really all my kid wants.
OH MY GOD. This is my kid (21 months old) and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse ALL DAY. The minute she wakes up it’s “Meedemeedemeede meeee” (her language’s translation of “Mickey Mouse”) and the minute the episode ends its “meedemeedemeede meeee” and every 5 minutes it’s “meedemeedemede meeee!!”. I even tried the “saturation” experiment where I stupidly thought, if I let her watch it ALL DAY she’ll be so bored of it maybe we can change shows! Hooray!
No. Now she thinks we should be watching it ALL DAY EVERY DAY. My mother in law (who we are currently lliving with) and I sing the song all. day. long. We cannot see Mickey Mouse in public without causing a ruckus. My daughter almost tackled some other toddler who’s dress flipped up as she went down the slide and my girl realized the other girl had Mickey Mouse on her diaper. She randomly screams about hot dogs and I’m sure it’s not a food-related thought.
And to Christy- this is after we upgraded from the fresh beat band, so there’s hope, but not much. (Are you for new Marina or old Marina? Cuz I really liked old Marina. But I kinda hate myself for even having this opinion.)
Have you heard the “Happy Nappers” commercial? (It’s a Pillow-Pet-blanket knock-off piece of crap.) It is the most awful, sadistic, mind-raping tune ever recorded. When I hear it, I scream to the kids, “turn it off! please, hurry! It’s killing me! NOOOOO!!!”. Of course, they think my screaming antics are funny and rarely turn it off, but rather like to continue to sing it to destroy my sanity. Little shits!
Ha.. “mind raping” is a good description of all children’s music
I feel the pain. Until very recently (this morning?) it was The Fresh Beat Band. We have seen so many frickin’ episodes of this show we know who is the best dancer (Kiki), who is really playing instruments (Kiki and old Marina), who the guest star on “Singin’ in the Rain” was (husband recognized him from “The Bodyguard”, yes, the husband, not me) and the pros and cons of the new Marina (pro: better dancer; con: no drum stick twirling). We had analyzed this show like Da Vinci Code readers did The Last Supper. Nothing like trying to hurry up and sleep while these dumb ass songs run through ones head.
“We had a great daaaaaayyyy….it was a super waaaaaayyy….to spend, some time together!”
Sometime, to mess with my husband, I sing it to him right before he falls asleep.
I guess I am lucky enough none of my 3 kids got stuck on the songs of shows, however I have not escaped unscathed. When my daughter was smaller she was hooking on Teletubbies (anyone remember that show?) Tinky Winky, dipsy, lala and poe were forever burned into my brain!!
My middle son watch hours and hours of baryney, lord help me!
My youngest is stuck on Team Umizoomi atm…but before that it was toy story, 1 2 and 3.
Id like to offer advice but it doesnt really get better lol. My son does that. There was a song on one of his thomas the train dvds that we had to play on repeat over and over for like a month. Every single day. & my husband was out of town because he was in the navy so it was just me, my son, thomas the train, & a new screaming baby sun up to sun down. I did discover that intros to dvds, etc, are usually one chapter on a dvd so you can usually hit repeat on the dvd player & then you just have to listen to it. We gave him a toy story soundtrack cd for christmas & the spanish version of “youve got a friend in me” that buzz sings in the end of toy story 3 was played on repeat everytime we got in the car to go anywhere, regardless of the length of the trip, from christmas until today. Go buy some liquor & sing along
Lindsay you must be one incredibly patient soul! Your house must be a barrel of laughs daily with a little insanity thrown in
I have two kids. Blue’s Clues. That is all.
Hahaha!
There’s also the additional detail that the version of the song we have on our appletv (are we an advertisement for apple??) is the British one, where almost inaudibly the first words you hear are “hey, you’re crazy!”. Suiting.
Jason’s Wife
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