‎10 Things I Would do for a Klondike Bar

  1. Ask my wife if we have any Klondike Bars.
  2. Say yes when someone offers me a Klondike Bar.
  3. Tell someone I would probably eat a Klondike Bar if they gave me one.
  4. Choose a Klondike Bar when offered it among other less savory choices.
  5. Say “Klondike Bar” 4 times.
  6. Eat a warm-up Klondike Bar.
  7. Draw a Klondike Bar with an easily attainable pencil or pen.
  8. Write down the words “Klondike Bar” on some kind of ordering menu at a place that offers Klondike Bars.
  9. Cross the street to talk to someone who’s yelling “I have free Klondike Bars”
  10. Call a toll free number that guarantees free delivery of Klondike Bars.

I'm a contributing writer to Parents Magazine, GQ, Psychology Today and some others. My book, "This is Ridiculous. This is Amazing: Parenthood in 71 Lists" is available here http://bit.ly/1exfm34. Look for two more books in 2015: "Must. Push. Buttons (Bloomsbury Kids), and an as-of-yet untitled memoir I’ve appeared on Comedy Central’s “Live at Gotham” and “Nick Mom’s Night Out." I live in New Jersey with my wife and two sons and enjoy making them laugh more than anyone else.

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