How the hell does it work when there are more kids in the house than there are parents? We have two kids – one for each of us – so we can trade off depending on which one we like better at the moment (totally kinda kidding.) The worse case scenario is that we’re each the temporary single parent of one child. Anyone can deal with that. When you’re out numbered, the situation seems destined for mutiny. No matter what you do, at least one of your unchaperoned kids is running around ripping the leaves off of house plants and eating detergent. You’d be in a constant state of:
“Oh shit, where’s my kid? Oh OK, there he is. Wait, where’s the the other one. No, not that one. The other one. Oh God.”
I’ve asked people with multiple kids how they do it and they usually say, “It just works out somehow.” That’s code for, “I have no idea how they are all still alive.” They never have a good, solid, thought out answer. It’s more of a “WOW, GOOOOOOD QUESTION. I have no idea how this all works. Do you have any coffee, or cyanide?” Sometimes the answer is, “Oh, well, they kind of take care of each other.” GREAT! A 4 year old taking care of a 2 year old. That should work out perfectly! Hey bud, where’s your brother? In a pillowcase? Did you poke holes in it for oxygen to get in? OK, good boy.
The answer must be that you have to lower your parenting standards. Every now and then, you have to let one or more of your kids be unattended while they climb the ivy on the side of your house. Somehow it slowly morphs from a home into some kind of insane foster care situation where you care just a little bit less about their well being. Here’s your food. Eat it or starve, it’s your choice. I have too many kids.
If you liked this, buy my book!